Here they are in no particular order:
You need to be passing gas: this is probably the first thing you can easily cross off your list as you don't have a lot of control over it. All that co2 that goes in during surgery eventually will make its way out...
You need to be up,walking around. This is definitely required because it helps get everything going-the tooting , the "outputs" and helps with the breathing as well. Day two I started off feeling a little sad and just kind of "bleck" in general but as soon as I was up walking around I felt 1000 times better in all ways. I was shaky at first and appreciated having Charlie there for support.
You need to be peeing "enough". I don't know what "enough" actually is. As of midday, day two, I was doing okay but not great in this category-not enough for them to remove the catheter yet. (PS...walking laps with a catheter dangling between your legs is both the most bizarre feeling and somewhat embarrassing even a hospital setting. I was thankful for the giant mu-mu gown they had found for me to use as a housecoat as it meant you could hardly tell what was going on under my gown). It's too bad there aren't pictures really.
You need to poop. Basically quantity, quality or proof arent important here. If you can say that you did, you get the check mark, no questions asked (unless Dr. S is the one doing the asking then he seemed more interested in getting output info). However ice chips and IV fluid with a dash of apple juice and a twist of powerful meds for 2+ days doesn't really motivate one's digestive system. I'm just saying.
You need to eat and tolerate it. To me, the second goal depends so much on this. I was ready to eat something the morning of the second day. I had thought as a result of what Dr W had said in the morning I'd get something to eat at lunch but nothing ever came. When the evening nurse started at 4 I asked her when I might be able to eat and she said according to my chart I should have started at lunch. But when Dr W showed up after 4 (with Dr. S, Dr. ?, another doctor from the original Doctorpalooza group and some other medical lady in tow), he said dinner was always supposed to be the first one. And to not eat too much.
I have no doubts Dr. W was being totally serious when he told me not to eat too much for dinner. But when dinner is a bowl of chicken bouillon, and apple juice and a cup of really rubbery lime Jello, it's easy to see there is a joke in there somewhere. Beggars can't be choosers I suppose but it was so unappealing I really had issues even attempting it. I ate the consume until I couldn't take the blandness any more. I tried valiantly to nibble the jello but I just couldn't do it-the texture was just not working for me and the flavour was very strange. It doesn't even strike me as being something with any nutritional value? There might "always be room for Jello" but not in this case.
The best news of day two was that Dr. S thought it would be good to take the surgical bandages off and just leave me with the steri-strips.To me this is a good thing because it means you are healing right? He pulled at them gently at first but then ripped them off in true bandaid removal style. I think I must have glared at him a little because he kind of smirked back and said "that's the part that hurts the most".
Clearly he doesn't have to eat the food :)
