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Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Tests Without Results

Am I there yet?
In my lunchtime yoga class today i was pondering the "Kidney Stuff" (yes I know you are supposed to clear your mind in yoga but if you know me, that ain't happening.  At least I wasn't thinking about work).  I was thinking about how I kind of feel sightless in this testing process, as though I am wearing a blindfold or something. You see, despite all the poking, prodding, x-raying and imaging, you don't know where you stand or if you are moving ahead in the process until you get the next call from a whole new office booking another step in the process. I know with some certainty that the fact that I am moving ahead indicates I didnt epic fail any of the tests but were there any mini red flags? Am I in "normal" health or am I exceptional in any categories? 
It seems odd to me to have given over 16 vials of blood and not know a thing about what the results are. Same thing applies for all the other tests compelted so far.  Ok, I get that the x-rays just were to show that I did indeed have kidneys and that there were no heart lung issues from a tumour perspective-I didnt really need an update on that. And the ultrasound same kind of thing.  I don't know-I guess I was expecting maybe a weekly or biweekly check in from the transplant program to tell me where we are with things and what's coming up.  They did give me a list in the beginning but I've done all those tests already.  The coordinator showed me another list (I didn't get a copy) that had more of the phase 2 and 3 tests on it but things dont seem to be happening in the same order as her lists.  Like the psych test-that wasn't even on this list! The social work test was but at the very end of phase three.  But when the social worker found out I was seeing psych she panicked because I hadn't seen her yet! But when I told her I couldn't come and see her on a days notice so that I could see her pre-psych. she put our meeting off indefinately.  It's all very confusing and out of order.
I know the system is new and that these programs are all "learning" their way through this.  I am patient and I will surf my way through the system until they kick me out or deem my kidney(s) fabulous. Its just a little unnerving to feel like I am standing in the dark waiting for the next person to come along and shove me forward.

(P.S. If you use "Google Image" (what I often use to find free pics for this blog) and enter the term "Blindfold" some pretty kinky/naughty pictures come up! Good thing no one was watching me :)

3 comments:

  1. Think of it this way...if they aren't telling you the results, then there's nothing wrong with you. If there was something wrong, they would contact you immediately, wouldn't they??

    But if it was me...I would ask. When I was pregnant no one told me my blood type until I finally asked.

    Just a thought. :)

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  2. Thanks Robin-I know and I will ask when/if I circle back to the Transplant Coordinator or meet the Dr who signed for all these tests...in the man time I do assume I'm healthy I'm just curious how healthy :)

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  3. I think it's safe to say if they keep sending you for more tests, you are still qualified. You have probably passed all the previous tests. Even the crazy test!

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